Thursday, September 4, 2008

Responsibities August 30, 2008

Responsibilities August 30, 2008

During our time together Ed and I shared our responsibilities. He took care of our finances and I did the shopping. He handled the repairs and I did the household chores. Ed did the yard work and I planted the flowers and he planned our trips and I did the packing. It was a fun life. Now everything is up to me.

One of your sad responsibilities after losing your spouse is a trip to the Social Security bureau. While my daughter was still visiting, she called to make an appointment then she had to return home to Colorado. It’s important to take someone with you to help remember why you are there. My daughter in-law Carole was kind enough to assist me. With a folder of information off we went. When I was called by an interviewer, I was surprised to hear my maiden name, Audrey Teal. I was also surprised to learn that my social security record was still in my maiden name after being married for 61 years.

The interviewer asked if I was legally married, I answered I hope so because I wouldn’t want to upset the children. I showed her a copy of my marriage licence, but she said she had to see the original. I have never had this problem before and I would return with the original. She read my parents name and asked what is their social security number? I told her that I had no idea. I didn’t even know if they had one. My father would be 108 years old and my mother would be 100. The next question was have I ever been in jail, I told her not yet. I looked at my daughter in-law wondering what she was thinking.

Ed was collecting a small railroad pension about 30 dollars a month and I was collecting 7 dollars a month. He felt that he wanted what ever he was entitled to and that small amount added up after 20 years. This put us in Railroad medicare. I was told that I would be moved into regular medicare and receive a regular social security pension and I would also receive a 255 dollar allowance for burial. Now it was getting interesting because to have a funeral today can cost up to10,000 dollars. As we left the Social Security Bureau the interviewer said she was very impressed with my 61 years of marriage and to please stay out of jail. After this experience I began to wonder what was next. I was now on my own and everything in my life was my responsibility and I didn’t have Ed to advise me. He took very good care of me and I had a fun life.

Through our many years together he was always trying to teach me about life and now I have to remember those things. I wish I had payed more attention. I will work hard to survive and make him proud. He was a good teacher and I miss him very much. I will never be as happy as I was, but with the love and help of my family I will always feel like the luckiest woman in the world .


Invisible Pills said...

I like this post. It is tough when one has to transition out of their comfort zone into something new all together. My grandmother had a tough time doing this when my grandfather passed. She became resentful and distrusting when others tried to reach out to her and help her. I am glad that you seem to be making an optimistic transition, I am sorry for your loss, and I am sure wherever Ed is, he would definitely be proud of your courage and positive approach within your current transition.

Katie Campbell said...

It was fascinating to watch this scene play out. How exasperating it must have been!

Keep writing! What a great record to have of your thoughts and your days.